12 December 2005

I've got a bug up my ass...


Some things are just a bad idea. Sending home a bug with someone's kid is one of them. What the hell do I do with THIS? I understand the IDEA of teaching my child about the "Circle of Life" and all of that crap. That's what I am PAYING you for. But WHYYEEE would you have my child NAME the flippin' thing and SEND IT HOOOOMMMMEEE??!!!?!?!?!?

Meet Bugalou. Yup, I spelled that right. My daughter, my sweet, animal-loving 2nd grader, was very particular about the name of this creature. I met Bugalou about a month-and-a-half ago when Ms. P. jumped in the van during car pool and announced that she has a new "pet" to take care of. I turned to see a baby food jar with corn meal and a brown bug in it. Yech.

Ms. P. informed me that she had raised him since he was a baby and that he was very smart. She was in lurrve - with this damn bug. Being the kind and gentle mom that I am, I thought to myself, "well, how long can this thing live?"

Apparently - FOREVER!!!

I didn't know what to do with it (him? her? it? sheit?) so I did the only thing I know to do...I called Mabel. She is brilliant, and a science teacher! She'll know what to do! After the intial giggling at my predicament (because she is soooo sensitive to my emotions!) she tells me how to take care of this new addition to our little family.

So I have followed her wise counsel and have given the bug fresh oats and apples. Mabel also said that sheit should only live about 30 days. Yea, lucky me, I have a spritey bug. A spiteful bug. A bug that just won't DIE.

I have pondered just setting sheit "free" outside with much pomp and circumstance for my daughter, but she is smart enough to know that sheit would die in the cold weather. She checks on sheit every day. I keep hoping that I will walk into the kitchen and find that sheit has gone on to bug heaven, but NO.

And now, I feel RESPONSIBLE for this creature. I feel guilty when I don't put in fresh apples. I feel bad if the bug is left too close to the window and it's too bright. I feel BAD. What is up with THAT?!?

Now hide and watch, when the damn thing does die, I will probably cry.

7 comments:

greensunflower said...

I am sorry about your situation, but it is damn funny.

crazyvirgo said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!i love it. is that a beetle or a cockroach?
what has education come to? are they still having kids raise "flower sack" babies too?

DP said...

Holy freakin' kudos to you, Diva. My skin crawls just seeing that picture. I don't dig bugs. Not even the ones in James and the Giant Peach .

cmhl said...

ICKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NASTY!!!!

Gina said...

My aunt volunteered to take some miniature frogs from her daughter's school, thinking they would die in a few months.

Five years later, they are alive and kicking.

What the heck kind of bug is that, anyway?

RBrown said...

Um, so in my day, we had terrariums. And we dissected frogs. AT SCHOOL. I think it's ridic to send kids home with creatures cause everybody knows the poor mother is the one who's gonna end up caring for it.

Maybe you should send it back with a note to her teacher telling him/her that you're going to be out of town for the holidays and since it was his/her GENIUS idea to send it home in the first place, y ou're SURE s/he'll understand.

But I'm just mean like that.

bitemycookie said...

is it still alive?