05 February 2006

Starbucks is a cult

I love Starbucks. It is a sad thing to admit that I am one of the masses. I like to think of myself as someone who forges her own trail. But I can't seem to with coffee. I pass a Starbucks and I feel an internal pull. My leg twitches. I must turn in and satisfy my urge at least a couple of times a week.

My husband has been sucked in, too. He gets his fix at his office. Starbucks has a kiosk in the building's cafeteria. He gets to waltz in and get his coffee all day, every day. That's just not right. If Starbucks was kind at all, they would swing a cart by my house every morning.

Now Starbucks is branching out. They have sucked in my kids. It was a brilliant plan. Little by little. Little taste by little taste. My kids have all had a drink and now they thirst for it. They crave it. They beg and plead and whine for it.


I thought I was only succumbing to my own fervent need for tasty, high calorie caffeine. It all started at Target. Target built a super version of itself a few years ago in Edmond, OK. And what was inside? A handy little Starbucks counter. I had not seen a Super-Target since I had lived in Dallas. I was all giddy and having hot flashes. I rushed over with my young children and oohed and ahed my way through my grocery shopping while enjoying the most pathetic drink ever created - the Frappuccino.

I did not realize at the time how Starbucks did it. The insidious way they get one person hooked and then let that person hook in everyone else in the family. The way they make sure that one sip is all it takes.

I didn't think I was creating a monster when I let my daughter take her first Frappuccino sip. But I have. Now she wants one all of the time. If she sees an empty Starbucks cup in the trash she immediately asks why she didn't get one. If I promise her a treat she wants it to be a Starbucks. If I am foolish and leave my Mocha Grande or Frappuccino sitting unattended, she will suck that bad boy down as if it was the last thing she is ever gonna drink.

Our sons aren't much better, but they stick with the hot chocolate and the bottled weak version of the Frappuccino.

Is there some sort of treatment for this? Some sort of intervention? Or are we doomed to watch our daughter become a caffeine junkie like we are?

You are witnessing a family out of control.


Eunice said...

Hi, my name is Eunice and I'm a Starbucksaholic.

Why would you want to be cured of this heavenly addiction? You are right, their plan is brilliant. Addict one and let them addict the rest.

One of the biggest things I miss about Seattle is having an average of 6-7 Starbucks stores within a 1/2 mile radius. Oh, and the drive-thru version as well...sigh.

concha said...

i can't say it better than this guy did, so i'll just give you the link.

Heidi said...

Seriously? Young and caffeinated?! Martyr!

mabel said...

There is a Starbuck's less than a mile from my home and yet I will drive for 8 miles to get to THE ONE with the drivethru (that is the proper spelling now). There is just something about the coffee and having it handed to me IN MY CAR that is somehow intoxicating...I think there may be some secret heroin mixed in with the beans.

Oh and CONCHA I laughed my ass off at that guy's post!

Jan Buckman said...

Ok. My husband and I are also totally addicted to Starbucks. Vente no-fat no-foam latte with an extra shot. Ok, sometimes twice a day. Does that make me a bad person? I think not.