23 November 2005

The Holidays have arrived

We have many lovely Thanksgiving traditions! We always have dinner at my MIL's on Friday. I am still the only person who watches the Macy's Parade. I can't quite figure out how to stage the cooking to be done at the same time. Oh, and my personal favorite, there is always a child who is sick or needs stitches.

This year we went for.....PINK EYE!

I didn't notice anything wrong with Saw until right after my daughter's playdate left! Yup! I am that lucky. Nothing more fun than calling another mom on a Holiday weekend and telling them their child has been exposed to a nasty looking, highly contagious thing just in time for the family photos.

I knew what it was and didn't think anything was too horrible. My husband called his sister, mother of five children, to see if they had any pink eye drops they could share. She did so we put some stuff in and sent the boy to bed.

Let me explain that we have had this here a few times. There's gunk, the eye is red, the drops fix them right up, and we all move on. But! I should have remembered it's a holiday week! Or I would have been prepared for what I discovered this morning.

I go in to wake up Saw expecting to see a gunky eye like I have before. He was peacefully curled up in a ball and I could not see the offending eye. I gently roll him over to see where we are at and I had to take a step back. His eye was the size of a friggin golf ball! It was hugely swollen and a lovely dark blue. His lid was stuck shut with bright orange gunk. Did you know that we could make BRIGHT ORANGE gunk? I didn't know this. This was new. After three kids and 10 years anything new kinda freaks you out!

I immediately thought "OOOHMYGAAAWWWDDDD! My child has something horrible and I didn't take it seriously enough! Oh, I am a horrible mother! What if there's glass in there? What if it's a strange tropical disease! What if he looses his eye because I was so blase? Whhhyyyyeeee?!?!?!" Outwardly, I remained calm and explained to my son why he couldn't open up his eye and that he wasn't blind.

My husband comes waltzing in and jumps back. He said that maybe the boy should go to the doctor! Now I am really freaking. If my husband thinks they should go, then they look pretty damn bad!

I finally got off permahold with the receptionist and got an appointment. I am greatly relieved. I get everyone loaded up and we rush up there to be on time. Saw is scaring people as we walk in. Peri is explaining to people that he's got THE PINK EYE like it's some sort of magical power. We get our paperwork and go back to the waiting room.

Sitting in the waiting room of my pediatrician's office is not always horrible. Today was kind of fun because I had the scariest child! It was finally my turn again. As we were walking down the hall I explained to Saw that he couldn't touch anything or anybody so he wouldn't get them sick. There is always at least one baby there and Sawyer likes to talk to them.

I am walking into this room with a child who has a giant, freakish, red, puffy eye oozing bizarre gunk. Today was apparently BABY DAY at the doc's office! Not one, not two, but FIVE babies in this little room. Two were a set of twins so there were only four mothers holding their little babies in terror at the monstrosity that stood before them.

Of course, every one of them were first timers so there was plenty of thick fear in the air. The only other parent was a dad with his older son. He didn't bother to even look up from his paper. Typical!

I sat off to the side with my kids. I made Saw sit on the floor waaaaay far away from the babies. After a couple of minutes of shared looks between the four of them, I could no longer take it. I turned to them and explained that he had pink eye and it was contagious, but that I would not let him get near any of them.

They all warily settled down, but I could see the wheels a-turning in their tired little heads. I used to think that way when I had my first child...

"Oh my gawd, that woman let her kid get a horrible disease! And it's nasty! I will never let that happen to my child!"

I looked at them, as they were called away one by one, and remembered how it was. Then I had a good mental giggle and guffaw and held my freak of a son's hand!

So after all of this, it was pink eye. He looks better already and I even got samples! Crouching Mommy would be sooo proud!


cmhl said...

I AM proud!!! you scared off all of the other parents, your work here is done. HA!!!

just so you know, I am taking thing one into the ped's office today, against my better judgement, to beg for an antibiotic for bronchitis--- I KNOW they will send him home from school otherwise.

AND, since, I have no shame, I am going to bed the pediatrician to write a rx for me as well, since I am sick too. ugh. wonder if he will, hahaha. probably..

Shopping Diva said...

Hi cmhl! I have to know - is the "bed" thing a typo? Did you mean "beg"? If not, is your pediatrician that cute?!? We MUST have DETAILS! My pediatrician is a dirty old man! Just ask Mabel!

cmhl said...

hahaha!!!!! typo!!!!

but, you know, he is kind of a hottie. in that "sensitive in touch with your kids emotions and in a great tax bracket" kind of a way. teh thought must have some merit!