28 October 2005

TypePad should listen to Bite My Cookie!

This week has been awful. We have our Fall Fest at school tomorrow. Thank GOD it's about over. We have a little auction of class projects to cover the cost of this neato little event and I have done 3 of them this week. Three cookie jars with fingerprints all over them. And I have been so sick.

Why I only get deathly ill when I have a shitload of things to do - I don't know. I never get this sick when I can take the good stuff and sleep for twelve hours. I am a light weight when I take any kind of medication. I got to enjoy painting details on these cookie jars when I really couldn't see straight. Then I glazed them.

I have no idea WHAT they are gonna look like when they come out of the kiln tomorrow. I hope they are fine because I have reached that special place where I keep all of my psychotic bitchiness and I am so willing to tell a couple of the other mothers at school what I really think of them if they have anything to say about the quality of my projects.

It's getting ugly up there. We were pondering moving to another part of the city so that the kids could go to a good public school. But Monday my husband was offered a job he has been interviewing for since August. Yea. So we get to move to Dallas and get the kids out of that place. I should probably keep my mouth shut. For a month.

That will give me time to practice my rants so they come out really clever. I need to. I don't think they would get where I was coming from if I just stand there and scream YOU JACKASS WHORES at them.

Yep, I'm a lady.

I hope I can figure out how to sound as good as
Bite My Cookie does. She's pissed at TypePad. They should listen to her. If they don't then I may just have to call them jackass whores, too!

3 comments:

Single, Party of One said...

I know your jars will kick ass. The meds may just add a tiny touch of quirky creativeness that those other mothers will never get. What better captures the memory of Fall Fest like a jar created on over-the-counter hallucinogens?

By the way, if for some reason you really do stand there screaming "YOU JACKASS WHORES!!!!!" can you please make sure you get it on film and post it on your blog? That's one rant I'd love to see!

Anonymous said...

oh thank goddess. i thought you'd been eaten by mommies in sweater sets...it's been so long.
happy fall festival!!! it's that special time of year. kids sneezing and snotting on you, Mom's giving you the evil eye for either allowing you child to sneeze in public, or wiping your shild nose with your sleeve. That happiest of times, next to Christmas, where you're foced against your will to create masterpieces for your children so that they continue to be afford such luxuries as school lunch.
And you're rewarded with what? Yes, a week of bed rest due to mono given by one of the many disease carriers at your childs school.
xoxo

Anonymous said...

Oh how I love thees rants! Listen sister, I been trying to get as good as Bitemycookie for years and unless we're talking men, I just can't compare. I do however hold the award for ranting about men...and I wonder why I'm single?!

A proposition: you make me a hallucinogenically fabulous bowl (I love bowls) Especially the kind used for...oh wait, Gina's blog not heidi's...and I'll make you a perfectly sweet hand stamped sterling silver necklace with your kids names. Deal?